Nothing creates more stress than when our actions and behaviors aren’t congruent with our values.
— Darren Hardy, author, former publisher of SUCCESS magazine
I couldn’t sleep. I was having panic attacks several times per week. Often, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, unable to breathe, thinking I was dying. My wife (Bernice) and I lived in a high-rise in San Francisco, and many nights after having panic attacks, I’d run to the window to get fresh air. This scared the hell out of me and Bernice.
After visiting different types of doctors to find out what…
Sira - couldn't agree more. After a long career, the last part as an entrepreneur, I've come to one important conclusion: the most important trait anyone who wants success can have is people skills.
And IMO few have this skill.
To take just one of your points, learn how to compliment sincerely, not flatter. Flattery is false praise. It's wrong and will rebound against you.
I'll go further. I ALWAYS look for something complementary to say to someone I meet. And I'm not talking about their clothes or any other "surface" comment.
In many, if not most, people I meet…
I like to read your stuff. Helps me think. The number one reason why I read Medium.com.
I have a little different take that I have written about on Medium.com and have lived by for the past 30 years.
I had a health and career scare in 1993 caused by an unethical decision by my business partners. It caused me to quit this small NY-based company and become an entrepreneur in SF.
At the time, I was reading a lot of self-help books. Stephen R. Covey and his business partner Hyrum Smith had the most effect on me. …
Excellent. Thanks Jari.
I remember a radio ad I heard often when I was growing up in Portland OR. The tagline line, spoken by a parrot was "pay yourself first".
That is the magic: donate to your investment fund first. Otherwise, if you decide to invest money from what's left after you pay your bills, you will find nothing remains.
Little by little, month by month, your investment amount and, hence, your reward will grow. And you, my friend, will be one of the lucky few who has insured a secure future and retirement.
When I was in college, I studied engineering, physics, and mathematics. I had wanted a challenge and got it in spades. That was a big mistake. After I graduated, I spent my career in marketing.
I did enjoy taking a few classes on philosophy. I liked it so much that I considered becoming a philosopher, but it’s difficult to land a job in that field. I have yet to meet a professional philosopher.
Philosophy has been given a bad rap. It helps us become more introspective. That is a precursor to most personal change. What could be more important than…
I associate with no toxic people. None. If I accidentally started a relationship that became toxic, I stopped it immediately.
I developed a habit which was a real good one: I always complimented people. In fact, whenever I met a new person, I complemented him if there was something obvious that I noticed about him which was unusual, laudatory, charming, etc.
The same goes for people you know: family, friends, merchants, neighbors, etc. Whenever I met one, I’d ask myself: what is postive about this person? What skill or ability do they have? What is good or charming about her…
After I started my career and had done some traveling throughout the US, I came to the conclusion I wanted what I viewed as the best — city to live in, friends, job, pay, entertainment, skill levels and activities (skiing, hiking, rock climbing, reading speed,etc.), books, restaurants, trips, etc.
I always wondered why most people lived where they grew up. It could be a city or town with very little of note, but they would stay. Maybe it was the friends. That would make sense.
But in my case, I grew up in Portland OR and then went to college…
I taught a class for adults at a local college on core values. I asked how many people liked philosophy. Few hands were raised.
Then I said this: “Allow me to offer this definition of philosophy: philosophy is the focus on the proper relationship of man to man, man to the earth, and man to God. Now how many are interested?”
Most hands shot up.
So be patient with me as we now turn to philosophy. Let’s look at Aristotle, first. Some feel that Aristotle’s book Nicomachean Ethics is the best book ever written on the subject of happiness.
From Greg McKeown’s Essentialism:
A woman named Cynthia once told me a story…
Twelve-year-old Cynthia and her father had been planning the “date” for months. They had a whole itinerary planned down to the minute: she would attend the last hour of his presentation, and then meet him at the back of the room at about four-thirty and leave quickly before everyone tried to talk to him.
[An old friend and business associate invited Cynthia and her father to dinner. Her father politely turned the invitation down.]
“Cynthia and I have a special date planned, don’t we?” He winked at…
“Experts” talk a lot about accomplishing goals.
They tell you how to maximize your time. They may even tell you how to set goals, but do they help you select goals?
I read their blogs and books and listen to their audios, but the experts simply cannot help you pick the right goals for you. Why will no one help with this crucial aspect of life? Read on.
In this chapter, we look at the importance of self-knowledge and how it enables you to find the right goals for your life. Already, you know that discovering your core values is…